They are so innocent!

I'm sorry to report to you that my education in the arena of limericks was NOT so innocent.

The only ones that I ever learned were...

DIRTY!

DIRTY LIMERICKS!

SPOILERS AHEAD!
DON'T GO ANY FARTHER!
DIRTY LIMERICKS LIE BEFORE YOU!
GOODNIGHT, CHILDREN!
GET OFF TO BED WITH YOU!
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IS THE COAST CLEAR?
ARE THE KIDDIEWINKIES ALL TUCKED IN?
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There once was was a hermit named Dave,
Who kept a dead HO in his cave!
He said, "What the hell..."
"...you get used to the smell!"
"And think of the money you save!"

Oh, that's just terrible.

Why do I remember that awful thing?

I'm not gonna do any more.

By the way...you can't use the word "WHO-E" at this message board.

"There was a young lady from Venus
Who's body was shaped like..."

*ack* *gerk* *thud!*

Now about Chris. Hmmm. Should Bonita see it, the E word may be used. You know, your middle NAME!

I happen to know that Chris wrote and posted an original limerick on another board. Come on. You can do it.

quote:

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Originally posted by Al:
[B]And no one is scared that this is the page of unlucky thirteen?

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Is someone tattling?

THE TABLE AND THE CHAIR

Said the Table to the Chair,
"You can hardly be aware,
"How I suffer from the heat,
"And the chilblains on my feet!
"If we took a little walk,
"We might have a little talk!
"Pray let us take the air!"
Said the Table to the Chair.

Said the Chair unto the Table,
"Now you know we are not able!
"How foolishly you talk,
"When you know we cannot walk!"
Said the Table, with a sigh,
"It can do no harm to try,
"I've as many legs as you,
"Why can't we walk on two?"

So they both went slowly down,
And walked about the town
With a cheerful bumpy sound,
As they toddled round and round.
And everybody cried,
As they hastened to their side,
"See! the Table and the Chair
"Have come out to take the air!"

But in going down an alley,
To a castle in a valley,
They completely lost their way,
And wandered all the day,
Till, to see them safely back,
They paid a Ducky-quack,
And a Beetle, and a Mouse,
Who took them to their house.

quote:

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AND I always seem to type the word AND as ADN, I dunno why, I have a curse, AND we are on page 14 now.

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I, too have that problem, but it's either

becuase instead of because

or

quote:

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Originally posted by Greg Bryant:
I, too have that problem, but it's either
becuase instead of because
or
sincerely instead of sincerley (or is it sincerley instead of sincerely...I can never remember)

---

Hmm. I keep typing Goldmsith instead of Goldsmith.

NP: On The Beach, Christopher Gordon.
Hey, everybody go buy this score.

The CIA was looking for a few good agents. The main requirement was
that they must, without question, follow orders. After extensive training,
three candidates emerged: two men and one woman. Then came the
final test.

The Director of the CIA lead the 3 people down a hallway. When he
got to the first door on the right, he took out a gun, put in the clip, and
handed it to the first man saying, “Your wife is right behind that door.
You must go in and kill her.” The first man said immediately that he could
never do such a thing and wouldn’t take the gun. He was asked to leave.

When the Director and the other two reached the second door on the
right, he handed the second man the gun and said, “Your wife is
behind that door and you must go in and kill her.” The man held the
gun and anguished for about 3 minutes. Finally, he said that he just
couldn’t do it and handed back the gun, so he was asked to leave.

The Director and the lady reached the third door, and he said, “Your
husband is behind that door and you must go in and shoot him.” The
lady took the gun, went in, and closed the door. Bang! Bang! The
Director heard two shots and then some thumping around. Then there
were several more shots fired. Bang! Bang! Bang!

Then a lot of crashes and thumping. After
5 minutes, the lady walked out, wiped the sweat off her brow, and said,
“Sheez, I wish you would have told me the gun was loaded with blanks.
I had to beat him to death with a chair.”

NP Toy Story II

I keep typing "MArian" or "Marina" instead of my real name.

There have been times when she might have used a chair on me...

On another front, is this thread now the official sign that the circus has left town and is now visiting a place that once cared for it? "? for PETERK," from ascii art to ghosttown, but still the longest thread ever to appear in ANY movie music-related online message board!

PeterK

quote:

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Originally posted by Jack:
We could try coming up with "screennames" for various composers. For example, James Horner's could be "recycler', and Zimmer could be "scoresRus"?

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You went and took the easy ones...

NP: Lionheart, Jerold

Just thought this might be the best place to post this, since I've missed the "original" Patriot threads by some weeks. And I even managed to say something on topic at this thread.

The "1776" LaserDisc received the first bid today. I'll be disappointed if I don't get at least $100 for it.

Those old 1947 Vogue Picture Records are being fought over! It's exciting to watch the prices go UP and UP!

quote:

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Originally posted by Chris Kinsinger:
Have you any idea how RARE it is for an item to receive ANY bids before the LAST DAY OF AUCTION?

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Rare? Why do you say that? I check the soundtrack section pretty regularly, and almost everything that's going to sell at any price gets at least one bid in the first day or two.

NP: Hunt For Red October, Basil Poledouris

I LOVE eBay!

quote:

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Originally posted by Chris Kinsinger:
Hey John! Maybe it's just the stuff I sell, but most items don't receive any bids until the last day...and then all hell breaks loose!
One particular item (a doll) just sat there for 5 days, received a $16 bid, and then during the last 5 minutes of the auction, BANG! BOOM!
When the smoke settled, the winning bidder spent $375!!!
I LOVE eBay!

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On a DOLL???

If I'm gonna spend $375 on ANYTHING, it's gonna be a DVD surround system or a heaping pile of CDs.

I AM AN EBAY SELLER!

And if people wanna spend amazing amounts of disposable income for my JUNK, THAT'S JUST FINE WITH ME!!!

ChrisK, I am not an eBay ANYTHING!!! However, if I ever wanted to be, I could, and could make a ton of cash, just as you are. But priorities - movie music first, money later!