I've never been one to discuss my private life on this board and this past year and a half has been probably one of the most difficult periods of my short life (I'm 34) since my divorce 10 years ago.

I've had to deal with my dad's cancer, the corporation I work for closed the Temple location and gave us our pink slips, my ex-wife moved away with our kids. then throw in the events of 9/11 and well it's been a rollercoaster.

I can say that in those areas things have improved, a week after I was layed off I found a new better paying job, my dad is cancer free going on a year since his surgery and I've been able to see my kids more than I thought I could.

However something I've dreaded happening may be on the horizon. As a few of you may know I became engaged this Christmas and we are getting married this coming August. Today my fiance found out she has a mass on her uterus. We won't know the full extent until next week. I've never lost anyone close to me other than grandparents but they all lived a long life so it wasn't hard to say goodbye. I know I'm jumping the gun here but the thought of her having cancer and losing her has hit me hard. She's only 25. My dad and I aren't that close so his cancer didn't hit me that hard. But now I'm faced with something I dread.

I know this a film music site, but I've been following PeterK when he belonged to the other site and I feel that alot of us have gotten to know each other and become friends. We all share personal things with each other from time to time. So I feel a little comfortable in posting this.

Of course my male ego has kicked in and I have to be strong for her, I don't want to show her I'm scared. I just want her to be ok and not have to go through what I'm afraid might happen. I don't want to let my feelings of doubt creep in.

I've never asked too much from others but I do ask that you keep us in your thoughts and thanks for listening.

Mark

You should know that you will be in my thoughts and prayers. I hope that everything turns out well for you and your loved ones.
Please, never give up hope. There is a reason, why we are all here.

Hang in there, buddy !

My cousin has had the very same problem as your fiance, she is 26 years old and I'm pleased to say, her's were benign.
As Joan has pointed out, the majority of these cases do turn out to be benign; the doctors also told my cousin the very same thing.
I sincerely hope that offers some comfort.

You've obviously had a pretty rough ride of late so surely things will only get better, try to keep your chin up for both of you,

Regard's,

I wish you and yours the best, think possitive, I'm sure everything will be all right!

This IS a very close knit community here, the kind words of so many people here helped me when I mentioned last year that my mother had died.

No need to bottle anything around here on Pete's site...be open

As was said earlier, keep us up to date on your fiance's progress.

best

quote:

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Originally posted by Mark Olivarez:
I've never asked too much from others but I do ask that you keep us in your thoughts and thanks for listening.

Mark

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Consider it done. Prayers for you, your fiance, and your family.

Just over a year ago my mother was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer, one of the deadliest and most immediate. It had already moved into her liver and lungs. She had a 50% chance to make it to this past December.

My mother is not only still around, but she's healthier than she was last year at this time. Her diagnoses have altered repeatedly. Chemo was ineffective, but she's going for a surgery that will probably do a lot of good. General prognosis is . . . unknown . . . which is better than last year's. It's like the one we all live with.

My point is, please take heart from those above who've been closer to your experience, and if possible, also more generally from my own proximal event. The "C" word seems like a magic bullet when it hits so close for the first time. It's almost worse than being told "H.I.V.", because, while that's a firmer sentence, it's not as much of a mystery.

But in the meantime, don't get too worried unnecessarily - wait for the results. As Joan said uterine masses are common in young women but in this age group they're usually benign fibrous tissue masses rather than malignant tumours. I've seen nearly a dozen removed over the past 6 weeks during my time in operating theatre (I'm a med student).

Again, my prayers, as our fellow MMers are with both of you...

The purpose of this reply is not to hurt or provoke anybody's feelings.

I know that with my philosophy I may be a creature from another planet, but anyway I'd like to remind you, Mark (and other people too) that Death's existence should never be denyied. Nowadays the people on this planet regard Death as a very distant thing; the huge development in Medicine and Science have made the people forgetting all about the natural circle of life - about Death. It's bizarre that a Century ago when Medicine and Science were in their infancy, people still had certain respect towards Death (because Death was considered as a part of everyday life), but nowadays, when Death can be "fooled" artificially, people just seem to be more and more afraid of it.

In my opinion people should never forget Death's existence. I myself want to live every day of my life to the fullest because I am aware that "a meteor can fall on my head" (or thousand other things can happen). I usually get frustrated when I read or hear people saying that they would never have expected (an accident, etc) to happen; in my philosophy everything can happen, anybody can die, anybody can be a murderer, etc. The point is that one should keep eyes and the entire mind open to the wholeness of this planet and universe beyond it.

Anyway, Mark, I do wish that all goes well with your fiance and you. I just would like to remind you about another thing - HONESTY; I just don't think it's wise to NOT let your fiance to see that you're scared. When two people love each other and plan to get married, (in my opinion) they should be able to SPEAK about EVERYTHING, SHARING everything, and SUPPORT each other in distress and joy. Another thing is that suppressing inner feelings is never wise - it usually only gets worser and can even lead to serious problems, mentally speaking.

So, I highly recommend you to SPEAK with your fiance and SHARE the feelings of doubt. I bet she'll love you twice more, and that you're both able to face the future TOGETHER, what ever happens.

Thanks for sharing...I know it can be hard sometimes to release such concerns, but I am sure they are always welcome here.

Concerning your situation, I think what people have told you here is right. This tends to be quite common with women. My best friend married a woman 10 years his senior two years ago and they had little Anna last summer. Beth, his wife had a tumour (benign) that was the size of a grapefruit in her uterus. They didn't take it out for fear of hurting the baby. So the baby was carried to term and Beth had a C-section. Everything was fine. In fact, they didn't want to remove the tumour at the time of delivery because they thought it would make Beth too weak. And so, Beth still is carrying that tumour around inside of her to this day. As a matter of fact, it has become smaller, but she is fine.

I also have a friend at work who is only 23 and constantly goes to have her uterus cleaned off because of masses popping up on it. She is fine too. It just something that occurs in women. The first time I heard about anything like this, with her or my friend's wife, I was freaked out. It's just something, that as guys, we have trouble grasping onto.

I am sure you fiance will be fine. It's just nature running its course. Like you said, you've weathered these storms set before you and the tide has turned for you now. Things are looking up for you and getting better. Keep positive and take comfort in that fact.

It's also important NOT to jump the gun a think all is doom-and-gloom. Cancer isn't automatically a death sentence and not all cancers are malignant (unfortunately mine was). I can say that I was in at least some state of depression after realizing what needed to be done in order to get rid of the cancer I'd been diagnosed with. And while the solution isn't what I would have preferred, I am still here today. It could have been much worse so I am thankful for how things are turning out.

Hopefully, this will be nothing. If that is the case, then you can look at this thread as an example of human solidarity.