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The Future of Star Wars

A year ago...
The name Hayden Christensen was mentioned and moviegoers said, "Who?".

In 5 years...

1. Rumors will linger of a release of the original 3 films on DVD, a format now widely used.

In ten years...

1. The Empire Strikes Back will still be the most popular and best of all six films.

2. Lucas will have edited and re-edited the films to death so as to take out any frowns and bad-thoughts, and will put in CGI men escaping from every ship ever blown up in a space-battle.

In 15 years...

1. The second trilogy will be re-released and will disappoint Fox financially.

2. This will coincide with the release of a "SAGA BOX SET" on VHS.

3. There will still be rumors of a release on DVD due to an emerging media that LUCASFILM prefers.

In 20 years...

1. Jake Lloyd will be arrested at a convention for attaking a fan in the parking lot, thereby ending his 15 minutes of fame.

2. A box-set of the scores for the six films will be released showcasing all of the music and even alternate cues.

3. The internet, now owned exclusively by Microsoft, will have had the music (as mp3’s) for all six films available first and will be sued by Sony and Lucasfilm.

4. The name Hayden Christensen is mentioned and moviegoers say, "Who?".

5.George Lucas will rerelease a Director’s Cut of THX-1138 into the theatres including several previously deleted scenes all featuring Boba Fett in the background.

In 25 years...

1. Lucas will greenlight a STAR WARS animated series to be syndicated. It will be an anthology series of stories for children dealing with morality and the corruption of extreme power.

2. After 6 months of production Lucas will axe production on the show stating that his "vision" was unable to come through. The pilot will air only once in primetime on FOX.

In 35 years...

1. Sony and LUCASFILM's long court battle with Microsoft’s “internet” ends. Microsoft loses and the US government tries to force the shutdown of the entire internet.

2. The pilot episode of "STAR WARS: ANIMATED JEDI ADVENTURES" will go for $600.00 at SciFi conventions in the U.S.

3. A seller on eBay will claim to have the second and third episodes of the Animated Star Wars show of which were produced but never shown. The episodes come "free" if you win the auction of Star Wars trading cards. Ebay will attempt to retract the auction but legally cannot. After 83 bids the final price will be $1,758.00.

4. Ahmed Best will file a restraining order on an intruder to his home after having been stalked for 15 years. In an interview with Barbara Walters' brain, the stalker reveals he holds Best responsible for the "death" of Star Wars.

In 40 years...

1. The American Film Institute will again rate the "TOP MOVIES OF ALL TIME" placing STAR WARS at number 73 and AMERICAN GRAFFITI at number 67.

2. Ahmed Best's stalker is found dead in his home. Witnesses report having seen a tall "Rastafarian-like" individual in the area the previous evening.

In 45 years...

1. Rumors of Episodes 7, 8, and 9 being shot secretly in Tunisia surface on the net. The rumors are soon squelched as a spokesperson for the shoot reveals it is the production of BLUE HARVEST IV.

In 50 years...

1. The last Star Wars convention EVER is held in Ojai, California. With 25 tables of dealers, only 63 people attend.

In 60 years...

1. In a candid "60 minutes VII" interview, George Lucas reveals that he himself is now more machine than man.

2. Jake Lloyd and Hayden Christensen will try to inject new life into their careers when they star as Darth Vader in the Broadway production of STAR WARS.

In 75 years...

1. Rumors linger of a release of the original 3 films on DVD. A format no longer widely used.

quote:

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Originally posted by Lancelot:
The next lamest ressurection since The Mummy Returns....

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Don't make me come over there!