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Topic: Desert Island

justin boggan

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In spired by "Death in the royal albert hall" i want to start my own pointless thread.
"JAMES HORNER, JERRY GOLDSMITH AND DANNY ELFAMN are stranded on a desert island""I posted in roya albert hall and put the end t my post. Sorry to guy who started it. I did nopt remember reading the part about you only ending it.
Only i can end the story and no adding extra people. Only i can add extra people.
(((((IWOULD LIKE TO THANK THE BOARD MODERATOR FOR LETTING THIS THREAD STAY. IT IS INTERTAINING AND FUN TO READ
))))))
So, let us begin.....Jerry goldsmith, james horner and danny elfamn are stranded on a desert island.....
[Message edited by justin boggan on 08-27-2001]
posted 08-22-2001 11:38 PM PT (US) 
dgoldwas
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...at whic point both Jerry Goldsmith and James Horner look at Danny Elfamn and say, "Where's Elfman?"
posted 08-22-2001 11:47 PM PT (US) 
justin boggan

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frustrated by the comment Elfman beats the ground with his fist, but in a unusual pattern...
posted 08-22-2001 11:51 PM PT (US) 
Camillu

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Goldsmith gives him a cynical look and says: "Is that how you came up with the Main Titles to Planet of the Apes?"
posted 08-23-2001 12:28 AM PT (US) 
justin boggan

Standard Userer

Horner laughs. They both turn to him yell, "Shut up Jamie"
Horner continues listening to JADE with his portable CD player, secretly trying to drive Danny and Jerry insane......
posted 08-23-2001 12:45 AM PT (US) 
John Zimmer

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Soon there after a large jet plane is seen overhead.
posted 08-23-2001 08:18 AM PT (US) 
TV's Frank

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... the plane deposits all used copies of TITANIC gathered from around the globe onto this "deserted isle"...
posted 08-23-2001 04:05 PM PT (US) 
Mark Olivarez

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While Goldsmith and Horner are still trying to figure out who this Elfamn character is......
posted 08-23-2001 04:10 PM PT (US) 
Quill
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Shunned by his colleagues, Elfamn finds several coconuts and continues to discover derivations of his Planet of the Apes theme, while Jerry and Jim work together on their score for Sum of All Fears with sticks in the sand...
posted 08-23-2001 04:28 PM PT (US) 
justin boggan

Standard Userer

Danny contemplates beatting them to death with the sticks and then waving them over their dead bodies.
posted 08-23-2001 08:31 PM PT (US) 
Camillu

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...but instead decides to strip off his shirt and run around the beach waving his arms wildly.
posted 08-24-2001 04:45 AM PT (US) 
Richard

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Through bad scripting and general credibility and uncreative use of product placement problems, Horner now has a Wilson basketball in his hand which he then proceeds to name...Wilson.He covers it in Hay (again, how there is hay on a DESERT island remains unclear) and sets it on fire.
posted 08-24-2001 05:01 AM PT (US) 
Marian Schedenig

Standard Userer

"Exorcism by fire", he explains to the puzzled-looking Jerry Goldsmith.
posted 08-24-2001 06:07 AM PT (US) 
Camillu

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"Bah! Humbug!" Goldsmith exclaims, as he continues to comb his hair meticulously.
posted 08-24-2001 07:06 AM PT (US) 
lars b

Standard Userer

Horner puts a Titanic CD in his portable CD player and asks Goldsmith to have a listen.'Didn't you write this kind of music before', Jerry asks.
The Elfamn dude starts laughing and says - 'Hey ponytail-man, you're a funny guy'!!!
posted 08-24-2001 08:48 AM PT (US) 
Marian Schedenig

Standard Userer

"But, I'm funny how? Funny like a clown? I amuse you? I make you laugh? I'm here to f*ckin' amuse you? How the f*ck am I funny? What the f*ck is so funny about me?"
posted 08-24-2001 09:21 AM PT (US) 
John Zimmer

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Elfman, infuriated by Goldsmith's remarks now contemplates choping off Goldsmith's magical ponytail with shapened rocks.
posted 08-24-2001 11:40 AM PT (US) 
Marian Schedenig

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Fortunately, the desert island is 50% beach and 50% jungle, without a single rock on the whole island.
posted 08-24-2001 11:50 AM PT (US) 
John Zimmer

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Elfamn pounds the ground with his fists again...Horner countinues listening to Mighty Joe Young.posted 08-24-2001 11:57 AM PT (US) 
Dr. Zaius

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Horner then "composes" a score based on what he just heard elfman working out on the coconuts
posted 08-24-2001 07:42 PM PT (US) 
justin boggan

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Goldsmith strings the coconats together and where them like boobies. He lets his pony tail go and pretends to be a women.
posted 08-24-2001 08:38 PM PT (US) 
André Lux

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Suddenly, Elfman puts a coconut on his head and start to shout:"BEHOLD THE FUNFA KING!!"
posted 08-24-2001 10:25 PM PT (US) 
justin boggan

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To which Jerry and Jamie commented to each other, "Makes as much scense as his music"
Finally realizing who he was.
posted 08-24-2001 10:40 PM PT (US) 
lars b

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'LET'S PLAY A GAME' Horner says :'I'm an Italian composer and I should have won 2 Oscars, WHO AM I ????'
posted 08-25-2001 12:43 AM PT (US) 
Marian Schedenig

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"Certainly not James Horner", Goldsmith says with a smile on his face.
posted 08-25-2001 04:29 AM PT (US) 
Richard

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"Oh yeah?" replies Horner with a desperate look on his face "oh yeah? well I had sex with your wife!"*Awkward Pause*
"You got that from an episode of Seinfeld" says Elfamn calmly.
posted 08-25-2001 04:43 AM PT (US) 
Marian Schedenig

Standard Userer

Meanwhile, Goldsmith decides that he won't even care for the other two anymore and puts on the ape mask he kept from the POTA recording sessions.
posted 08-25-2001 05:23 AM PT (US) 
John Zimmer

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Driven insane by being alone with these two dweebs, Goldsmith ,now known as Ape Woman, treks off into the jungle to find is ape like comrades.
posted 08-25-2001 06:55 AM PT (US) 
Marian Schedenig

Standard Userer

(Just imagine how Goldsmith looks now! ROFL! Any Photoshop wizzes out there who can show us what he looks like?)
posted 08-25-2001 07:14 AM PT (US) 
Mark Olivarez

Standard Userer

Meanwhile the question remains, who is this Elfamn guy and how did he get on the island with Elfman, Goldsmith and myself a curious Horner pondered???????
posted 08-25-2001 08:53 AM PT (US) 
justin boggan

Standard Userer

Jerry and Honer contend that Danny hide aboard a plane that was taking the 2 to a award ceremony where they were to be awarded.
They both believe fully that Elfman is the "Gilligan" of the island.
posted 08-25-2001 10:11 AM PT (US) 
Jeron

Standard Userer

Ape Woman Goldsmith, while trekking in the jungle, comes across an abandoned spacecra...no...starship. The markings are barely legible, only a few letters visible, and so, Goldsmith takes what he sees and decides to call it "Eterpe." (ee-ter-pee). Oddly enough, Jerry's "V'ger" music begins playing and the sky, bright blue, changes to a dark violet. We hear both Horner and Elfman scream from a distance.[Message edited by Jeron on 08-25-2001]
posted 08-25-2001 01:13 PM PT (US) 
Marian Schedenig

Standard Userer

All over the hull of the ship, "No song for the main titles" is written in red ink. Or is it blood?NP: Return of the Pink Panther (Henry Mancini)
posted 08-25-2001 01:17 PM PT (US) 
Dr. Zaius

Standard Userer

Horner thinks to himself, I wish one of these guys would write an on orginal score soon so I can copy it.
posted 08-25-2001 01:38 PM PT (US) 
John Zimmer

Standard Userer

But Before Horner can lust over Elfmans self taught writting abillity, he hears an odd sound...music comming from his stereo!! Being the none sharing type of fellow Horner runs to the beach and finds some anonymous person listening to some anonymous music on his stereo. Who can this person be? How did he get here and what is he listening to...Np: Chain Reaction
Jz
[Message edited by John Zimmer on 08-26-2001]
posted 08-26-2001 01:17 PM PT (US) 
Marian Schedenig

Standard Userer

Of course, since we aren't allowed to add persons, the anonymous person on the beach is nothing more than an illusion of James Horner, who hasn't heard an original score to copy it since he stranded on this island and is now slowly but steadily going nuts.
posted 08-26-2001 03:24 PM PT (US) 
André Lux

Standard Userer

Nauseated with Elfman's poor tunes, Goldsmith can't hold himself anymore and puke into a coconut shell.Jamie Horner runs into Goldsmith, takes the shell out of his hands, add two or three drops of his spit and then shouts:
"I'VE DONE THIS!!!!!"
Elfman approaches Horner and ask if he doesn't wanna sell that to him.
posted 08-26-2001 08:20 PM PT (US) 
John C Winfrey

Standard Userer

Goldsmith says to Horner "Hey, what did you do with that anvil?" and Elfman says to Horner "Was that a Celine Dion vocal you were working on for your next film with a Scottish tune?"Horner says "No, I am working on some original percussion music only borrowing a few measures from 43 previous scores that I did."
posted 08-26-2001 09:50 PM PT (US) 
justin boggan

Standard Userer

Someone finally lands on the island! It is Celine Dion, she is killed instantly by the fall. Danny and Jerry both clentch their fists and exclaim under their breath, "yes"
posted 08-27-2001 12:14 AM PT (US) 
Richard

Standard Userer

Goldsmith leans to Horner, who is in shock and whispers...
"I guess she really was flying, Jack!"
posted 08-27-2001 02:05 AM PT (US) Old Infopop Software by UBB
