Not to rub salt into your wounds, but yesterday I stayed in and watched parts of Sommersby, Far and Away, and Gattaca.

When this kind of thing happens to me, I spend approximately half an hour vomiting copiously into a thirty-gallon barrel which I keep expressly for this purpose.

Avoid like the Plag....oh!,you know what I mean!

Tim

p.s. rather than the above 3, I would sooner watch Lost In Space 3 times back to back!

I saw Armageddon in the theater, and I still consider it the worst film I've seen. Then I watched The Rock on TV, and it was only slightly less horrible. When Con Air aired, I couldn't resist because of the cast, but afterwards I swore never to watch a Bruckheimer film again. Some friends asked me if I want to come with them and watch Vertical Limit - ugh! (Ooops, just noticed this isn't a Bruckheimer production - I could have sworn so after seeing the trailer)

I'll stop rambling now.

but then again, perhaps that's a testament to quality of the theater sound systems in West Texas.

Starship Troopers (aka Starship Poopers, Melrose Space)

GI Jane. (Yuck.)

Spawn (Triple yuck)

Godzilla.

I think there were a few more, but I am blocking them out, according to my psychiatrists wishes.

Godzilla (Emmerich)

Con Air

Armaggeddon (exactly Marion!)

The Fly 2

Batman and Robin

Mission to Mars (yes Andre, not only was this preposterous but it was also toilet bowl fimmaking)

Supernova

Alien Resurrection

Clay G.

Stargate (yes, America saves the slaves from another world)

Independence Day (yes, America saves the world from aliens)

The Patriot (oh yes, now we get to see the sentimental - and awfully acted - "real" independence day)

Armageddon (ah more, America saves the world from asteroids with the help of a setreo-typical Russian drunk; gimme a break)

But Bruce Boughton's score rocked the Kasbah!

Soldier was really awful but I did make it all the way through to the bitter, clichéd end. The score seemed very loud.

Armageddon seemed very disingenuous with its cynical patriotic manipulation. There were all the usual problems with the “science” and despite the excellent eye candy, I can’t really say I overly enjoyed it. It also seemed very loud. But I least I stayed awake which is more than I can say for Deep Impact.

Godzilla I really disliked the first time I saw it. I really had problems with the changing scale of the beast. However, I do have to admit that upon further viewing it has become one of my guilty pleasures.

ID4 is just one of those movies that I check brain at door and watch for the sheer visceral thrill of it.

Patriot, despite incredibly bad history (awful history), I did enjoy.

But I did learn some interesting facts.

DMX is a world-class martial artist who is capable of dazzling feats of aerial combat, despite having had no such training.

All cops in Detroit are also world-class martial artists.

Cops who want to kill Steven Seagal like to take him prisoner first and then mouth off instead of putting two bullets in his head and being done with it.

Jill Hennessey makes a very convincing police captain....okay not really.

Anthony Anderson, DMX, and Isaiah Washington are now part of the 'Joel Silver' stable of actors, and will continue to appear in every movie he ever produces.

Michael Jai White is doomed as a human soul.

They need a buddy movie between Anthony Anderson and Tom Arnold, because even though they harm separately, togther, they are two funny mofos.

Gone In 60 Seconds - C R A P!! For a 'fast car' movie, it was miiiighty slow.

U-571 - America saves the day once again. This was too dark in terms of lighting (and I dont care if it was on a submarine) and in the end, I thought it sucked, end of story.

Erin Brockovich - Give me a bucket. What an annoying film. A Civil Action was much better considering the plots were more or less identical.

M:I 2 - What the hell was this pile of trash? After the film on the video, they had interviews with cast/crew. In it, Ving Rhames said what he likes about M:I 2 is that it's a character driven film and the action plays of that. Ugh! Will someone please pass me the f***ing asparagus!!

Waterworld - Kevin Costner's career is sinking. Kevin Costner's career has sunk.

Johnny Mneumonic - Obviously, I've missed something here.

Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Friday 13th and it's subsequent sequels, I Know/Still Know What You Did Last Summer, Happy Gilmore, Bulletproof - If I want stupid entertainment, I'll slam my head against a brick wall for 2hrs.

Get it?

quote:

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Originally posted by Richard:
Armageddon outta here...

Get it?

Hehehehehehehehe, I crack me up. Sometimes.

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Here's a perfect example. So many critics trashed ARMAGEDDON. One in particular here where I am still rips on that movie in almost any review he does. Yet, the same guy gave SPACE COWBOYS an A this past year. Basically, SPACE COWBOYS was a horrible, nauseating attempt at the geriatric ARMAGEDDON. I think some people feel they "should" like a film because of the name or hype attached to it. "Clint Eastwood...well he can't make a bad film." Sure he can and did with SPACE COWBOYS. John Woo also entertains in the Bruckheimer way. He blows you out of your seat...even with the most inconcievably simple plot. How are these different from the DIE HARD movies? And visually, they look better than the DIE HARD movies (although I love these movies,as well).

If you want to get mad at produced nonsense, get mad at the people who make movies like DUDE WHERE'S MY CAR or any other Ben Affleck movie (besides ARMAGEDDON and CHASING AMY, but including critical favorite GOOD WILL HUNTING, otherwise known as DEAD POETS SOCIETY: THE SEQUEL), or definitely any of the self indulgent idiocy that comes from the likes of Bette Midler, Goldie Hawn and Diane Keaton these days.

quote:

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Originally posted by Lightborne:
How are these different from the DIE HARD movies?

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Well, as I can't describe it any better: I feel insulted by the Bruckheimer films.

quote:

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And visually, they look better than the DIE HARD movies (although I love these movies,as well).

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If I want to see something that only looks great, I'll buy a photo album.

quote:

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Originally posted by Lightborne:
What do you guys watch, then, at the theatre? Merchant-Ivory pictures? You might as well rent those...Say what you will about Bruckheimer, but his movies are top grossing popcorn favorites for a reason. Visually, he delivers. (I excuse his lesser attempts like Gone in Sixty Seconds and Coyote Ugly for past deliverables like the Rock and Armageddon) Especially, with Michael Bay. Freeze any frame in a Michael Bay movie and tell me that visually it does not make a good photograph. Even BAD BOYS was revolutionary in the look for these type of action films. You see how every commercial filmed now tries to imitate the Bay style.

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Are you serious? Jeez, I hope not...

You cannot deny this: Bruckheimer's movies (when utilizing Michael Bay) ALWAYS look good and sound good. (See Pearl Harbor trailers A and B.) If Bruckheimer audio is too loud for you either question the projectionist or throw your surround sound system away (audio is meant to be heard). Technically, Michael Bay films are as "ON" as the Scott brothers (Ridley and Tony, who definitely have inspired Bay).

Which leaves us with plot...the area of fault with these films. Personally, I am fine with not going to see a major plot every time I step into the theatre. This is why I had a great time with the John Woo movies FACE/OFF and M.I.2. It is a suspension of disbelief. What he did in those films is no less complicated than his Hong Kong works like A BETTER TOMORROW,THE KILLER and HARD BOILED. Obviously with Woo and Bruckheimer/Bay, we aren't going to get the development of a Scorsese, Kubrick or P.T. Anderson film (these are men who have all been successful at combining the technical with story and character development .) Bruckheimer films never promise that. So I accept it. Although, I will argue that there is a lot more character development going on in THE ROCK and ARMAGEDDON than these films are given credit for. But then again, many times I feel the name Bruckheimer comes under fire on this board, like Zimmer, Rabin and Horner, soley for the sake of it coming under fire.

"As for Die Hard, the first one was an excellent film, the others are acceptable, but alredy show the first signs of the upcoming Bruckheimer-like productions."

...Just like the MATRIX. Those things that are revolutionary, will be imitated. The first DIE HARD spawned hundreds of like products. The MATRIX is going through that now,especially with bullettime technology (which credit should also be given to the original GAP spots). In the same way as I stated with commercials imitating Bay's work for I don't know how long now. Where do you think the sweeping dolly moves and heavily saturated colors come from?

The Bay film blows away visually something like TRAFFIC which gets critical acclaim because it takes itself too seriously. Therefore, are we supposed to ignore the fact that it is physically unwatchable because Soderbergh wanted to handhold everything and superflously use irritating filters to indicate location even if it's story is more "complicated" than a Bruckheimer movie? Give me a break. This is why this gets nominated for Best Picture and REQUIEM FOR A DREAM does not. Same subject, different technical approaches.

...THUS

I don't mind disagreement ladies and gentlemen, but at least defend your argument. Not with , "You've got to be kidding..." Correct me with your defensive case. Thank you, that is all...

quote:

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Originally posted by Lightborne:
Unfortunately, I am serious. If you understand visual media, like movies, you should pay attention to shot composition, editing and sound design. Important ingredients often overlooked in film. And if you are interested in film and are a student of it, you should always concern yourselves with these aspects of the medium. Otherwise, read a book.

You cannot deny this: Bruckheimer's movies (when utilizing Michael Bay) ALWAYS look good and sound good.

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What is this fascination with Michael Bay? Didn't he do The Rock? What a mess that was. The action was headache-inducing - nothing but quick cuts and close-ups. They should get a real director to make the movie and have Bay do the trailer.

whatever happened to the days when an "entertaining" film was also just a damned good film?

Sean up there has trouble with American perspective in movies. My problem with that is this:

no one in America would care if, say, a group of Frenchies went up to space to stop an asteroid, with strains of their national anthem heard on the soundtrack. American audiences see these movies in droves and drive the production (from strangely American studios...).
If people around the world know what it's about, hate America and still attend the screening, that's their problem.

Along these lines, I can't wait to hear the bad things people say when Pearl Harbor opens. I don't know if this is gonna be a good film or bad, but just know now that this is gonna be flag-waving tear-jerking chronicle of just what got America into WWII and helped propel us into being the military superpower (and worldwide babysitter) we are now.

Worldwide audiences beware!
No bitching about the American perspective in Pearl Harbor.

If plot is so unimportant why would a director ever bother to do more than string a bunch of car chases, choregraphed fight scenes and special effects shots around some lacy plot? Oh wait, that’s what most of them do.

Movies are more than images, no matter how well composed, they are stories. Without a story, then we don’t care about the characters or anything that happens to them. A classic example of this is Citizen Kane. It is told in a very disjointed manner through reflection and flashback. By the end of the film we are able to empathize with Charles Kane, even if we can’t agree with his choices. In Armageddon, we are denied this empathy. What do we know about Harry Stomper? Almost nothing. He has a daughter he loves and a future son in law that he doesn’t. He is a archetypical grease monkey and his character seems defined by his job. As a result, when he sacrifices himself, we can’t make the connection to him to establish him as a tragic figure so necessary for catharsis.

To make the sacrifice real, we are treated to the cynical manipulation of the audience through all the patriotic imagery clearly establishing his death as an American Tragedy, not a personal one. “We have lost a great American here today”