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What COULD BE the worst possible Bond movie?

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Author	Topic: What COULD BE the worst possible Bond movie?

meegle Oscar® Winner	Well I'm not sure what's in stone as far as the new film is concerned but how do u think "Hollywood" could masterfully ****-up a Bond film? I mean like....let's say....Madonna as a Bond-Girl or.......Zimmer as the composer??? !!!LOL!!! Any thoughts? [Message edited by meegle on 01-25-2001]
posted 01-25-2001 01:21 PM PT (US)

Tim_P Oscar® Winner	Absolute Worst Bond Cast and Crew: Bond - Ryan Phillipe Bond girl #1 - Bette Midler Bond girl #2 - Kathy Najimy Bond girl #3 - Rose McGowan M - Arnold Schwarzenegger Q - "Carrot Top" Villain - Kevin Costner Director - Michael Bay Score - Trevor Rabin and 40 Ghost-writers (based on a theme by Eric Serra) Song - Britney Spears
posted 01-25-2001 01:37 PM PT (US)

Aaron R. Brown Oscar® Winner	I don't think Madonna would even be considered for a Bond girl. James Bond isn't really a Hollywood production. I have always thought of it as an independent production. The worest rumor I have heard about Bond 20m was that it would be named Beyond The Ice. That isn't the title of the film! It would be one bad title. [Message edited by Aaron R. Brown on 01-26-2001]
posted 01-25-2001 02:20 PM PT (US)

Crono/Kyp Oscar® Winner	But David Arnold is still doing the music!!! YEAH!!!! --Crono Writer & Film/Video Editor
posted 01-25-2001 03:38 PM PT (US)

PeterK FishChip	James Bond is a Broccoli Production. I therefore nominate, as worst Bond cast and crew: P Nut as James Bond, Alfredo Pea as Q, Paula Plum as Bond Girl #1, Nectar Rose as Bond Girl #2, Sandi Fish as Bond Girl #3, and Rhubarb Jones as the villain. Music by DJ Food will be replaced with a score by Al Ham, with the Bond theme re-hashed by Bill Berry (of R.E.M. fame). Orchestraction by Earle Peach. Script hacked together by Stanley Z. Cherry. Directed by Robert B. Bean. Yes, these are all real people. Yes, it would be a bad film.
posted 01-25-2001 03:51 PM PT (US)

H Rocco Oscar® Winner	BEYOND THE ICE is indeed the title, at least right now. hmmm ... fantasy land ... Bond = Macaulay Culkin Girl #1 = Juliette Lewis Girl #2 = Kate Moss M = Elizabeth Taylor Q = Marlon Brando Villain = Chris Tucker Music by Mark Isham. Main title song performed as a duet by the two most irritating voices in contemporary rock: Robert Smith and Bjork. nothing really meant against any of these thespians individually, but what a nightmare ensemble THAT would be! [Message edited by H Rocco on 01-25-2001]
posted 01-25-2001 04:05 PM PT (US)

ManOfSorrows Oscar® Winner	Nah, I think they changed the name to: "The Infection Of The Ice" a tad stranger name if you ask me NP Nothing
posted 01-25-2001 04:27 PM PT (US)

Crono/Kyp Oscar® Winner	If you recall, the original [code] title of TWINE was "Pressure Point" --Bri Writer & Film/Video Editor NP: Legends of the Fall: James Horner (*****)
posted 01-25-2001 04:44 PM PT (US)

Observer Oscar® Winner	BOND: I've decided to become a celebate monk in the mountains of Oweepa. STANDARD VILLIAN: Ha! Ha! I've finally won! Now I will destroy the world and run away with the 5 billion dollars which is useless know since I was going to destroy the world anyway! Like I could spend it without anyone noticing! [World Explodes] END
posted 01-25-2001 05:39 PM PT (US)

Crono/Kyp Oscar® Winner	NICE! --Bri Writer & Film/Video Editor NP: Legends of the Fall: James Horner (*****)
posted 01-25-2001 05:41 PM PT (US)

Hard Target Oscar® Winner	My worst Bond fantasy bad crew. LOL okay it goes like this: Dolph Lundgren:James Bond Jr. Macuauly Culkin:James Bond Jr. Jr. Leslie Nielsen:James Bond Sr. Pauly Shore, Rob Schnider:Bond Snitches Brian Bosworth:Jaws Wierd "Al"Yankovich:Q Ice-T:Felix Leiter Janeane Garfalo:Miss Moneypenny Marlon Brando:M Peter Weller:Oddjob from Goldfinger Denis Leary:006 from Goldeneye Mario Van Peebles:Blofeld Tom "Tiny" Lister, Jr., Andrew Dice Clay:Henchmen Rodney Dangerfield:Goldfinger Andrew McCarthy:Zorn from A View To A Kill Charlie Sheen:General Kosokov from Living Daylights William Forsythe rax from Moonraker Marah Carey:Octopussy Neve Campbell The Late) Theresa Bond Lance Henriksen:Kristatos from For Your Eyes Only Dennis Hopper:Stomberg from The Spy Who Loved Me Adam Sandler:Scaramanga from Man With the Golden Gun Mick Jagger:Renard from World Is Not Enough Sylvester Stallone, Wayne Newton:Main Villains Halle Berry, Ali Larter, Celine Dion, Debi Mazar, Tyra Banks, Winona Ryder, Jenny McCarthy, Sandra Bernhard, Tia Carrere, Roseanne, Claire Danes, Rupaul and return of Grace Jones as Bond Women Directed by The Farrelly Brothers, Christian Slater, John Travolta, John Woo, Barry Sonnenfeld and Mel Brooks Produced by Lorne Michaels, Mel Brooks, John Travolta, and Joel Silver Music by Harry Gregson-Williams, Nick Glennie-Smith, Stwart Copeland, Rachel Portman, David Arnold, Don Davis, John Ottman, Elmer Bernstein, Randy Edelman, Jeff Rona and Brad Fiedel. LOL This is too funny!!!
posted 01-25-2001 09:28 PM PT (US)

Kross Oscar® Winner	Considering that EVERY new Bond film has sucked. I would not mind new additions to the bond line up. Goldeneye is the only fairly decent one, the rest, well, not even worth a watch on TV.
posted 01-25-2001 09:44 PM PT (US)

Probable Oscar® Winner	Zimmer see http://www.moviemusic.com/mb/Forum1/HTML/005075-2.html
posted 01-26-2001 12:48 AM PT (US)

Richard Oscar® Winner	Well after reading the other thread, then finding the link on this one, dare I say the outcome was... ...Probable....waaaaaaaaaahahahahahaha..... Probable.....and his name is......get it?.......Pro..... sigh I give up.
posted 01-26-2001 03:04 AM PT (US)

SBD Oscar® Winner	Concerning a lot of your choices for "Bond girls", don't take this the wrong way, but you guys have issues.
posted 01-26-2001 07:11 AM PT (US)

meegle Oscar® Winner	Whitney Houston......CO-STARRING!!!!!!! Opening song? Cool!!! Her as Bond-Girl? Gimmie a break!!!!
posted 03-26-2001 10:25 PM PT (US)

Dave Oscar® Winner	Woody Allen as James Bond. "Uhh uhh guys don't ya think this is just wrong...I mean really wrong this taking over the world business is just so so childish. Oy." dave NP Kundun
posted 03-26-2001 11:12 PM PT (US)

Dave Oscar® Winner	Woody Allen as James Bond. "Uhh uhh guys don't ya think this is just wrong...I mean really wrong this taking over the world business is just so so childish. Oy." dave NP Kundun
posted 03-26-2001 11:13 PM PT (US)

new york islanders Oscar® Winner	Dave, if you can't take a joke, then you've got issues of your own.
posted 03-26-2001 11:23 PM PT (US)

Dave Oscar® Winner	Hey there New York Islanders....thats not me talking.....thats Wooody Allen as Bond talking to a villan dave NP : Escape from LA
posted 03-26-2001 11:59 PM PT (US)

dgoldwas Oscar® Winner	Issues? Man, you obviously haven't seen CASINO ROYALE, where Allen played Bond's son, Jimmy Bond. "You can't shoot me! I have a very low threshold of death. My doctor says I can't have bullets enter my body at any time." Dan
posted 03-27-2001 12:00 AM PT (US)

Dave Oscar® Winner	dgoldwas.........HILARIOUS! dave
posted 03-27-2001 12:07 AM PT (US)

Camillu Oscar® Winner	Erm, you guys keep coming up with bad choices for 'Q', but as far as i know it's 'R' from now on, after the introduction by John Cleese in TWINE, and poor old Q's death. As far as I know, that is.
posted 03-27-2001 04:15 AM PT (US)

JJH Oscar® Winner	my fantasy Bond girl is Shaun Rutherford. but seriously, bring back John Barry for one last go 'round. NP -- Hollow Man, Goldsmith; still awaiting the complete score from SOMEONE...
posted 03-27-2001 08:45 AM PT (US)

AaronR1074 Oscar® Winner	Fantasy Bond - Ben Afleck Fantasy Girl - Cher Fantasy Villian - Rob Zombie Fantasy Q - Galagher (The comedian w/the sludge-o-matic) Fantasy M - Marlin Brando Fantasy Girl #2 (since he always needs 2 of them) - Barbra Streisand Fantasy Villian Sidekick (to do all of the dirty work) - Alan Rickman (from Robin Hood) Fantasy opening scene - Set in the World Trade Centre, bond must rescue Barbra, who is really Q's daughter, from Rickman's terrorist explosion. (can we see the chaos here?) Fantasy Bond one-liner: "I've only got 2 words to say - 'You're Dead'" Fantasy Bond pick-up line: "Let's just get on with this." Fantasy Bond pick-up line #2 "Come on Barb, do it for the fans!!" (is this too dirty for this site?) Fantasy Bond villian one-liner "I'm gonna kill you...and feed you to the witches" Fantasy Bond villian side-kick one-liner "I'm gonna cut your heart out w/a spooooooooooon!!!!" Fantasy Q gadget "This NEW sludge-o-matic comes fully loaded with a watermelon launcher and pie-pan mines." Fantasy M one-liner "Come in bond! I'm gonna make you an offer you can't refuse!" OK, that's it for me....wait wait ...forgot the score. Fantasy bond composer - Brad Fiedel Fantasy bond singer - No Doubt Ok, i'm done for real Cya!!
posted 03-27-2001 03:00 PM PT (US)

Quill Oscar® Winner	well, they was a rumour about Whitney Houstan as a bond girl...ackk! As it turns out, she might just sing the title song. Saints protect us...
posted 03-27-2001 03:55 PM PT (US)

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