"L.A.!! Lemme at it!! AARRGGHH!!!!!!"

. . . and Sandra Bullock would be my Fay Wray. Hehe!!

Please don't touch the monuments or the museums, though...too many important works of art there.

All I can say is, Run for the hills why you still have the chance.

Anyway, welcome to Moviemusic.com.

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Originally posted by James:
I'd head for Las Vegas. All those pretty lights.

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First off I would would eat the ******* SAN ANTONIO SPURS!!! Thems'd be good eatin'!! Also cuz IM SO ****IN sick of them and how they bleed this town dry of money!!! "Wah wah, we need a better arena. We need more space, wah wah." YEAH!! Like in the new Gamera film!!! I'd eat them during a game!!!!!!!!

I cant think of good San Antonio carnage music......I KNOW.....whenever some stupid dignitary or someone of importance comes to town they always play MARIACHI music at the airport to greet them!!!!! YEAH!!!!!!

OH WAIT!!!! I'd have to eat the local TV stations!!!!! YUMMY!!!!!! They've been spoon-feeding us biased news for years!!!!!!!!

One of the best ever. Maybe somebody can answer. The NES version had three creatures, while the arcade version had four. I can't remember which creature was left out for the home version. Anybody know?

They don't make video games as good as those old ones were anymore. Remember the original (and still the) "Contra" for the NES? I could beat that one in 27 minutes flat . . .

"JENZDEETRIKZILLA! JENZDEETRIKZILLA!"

The 20 story high lizard that is Jens Dietrich seems unable to resist this otherworldly sound...it turns away from its destruction of New Orleans, and pauses, as if listening for further instructions...

The three blue bears continue their harmonious song:

"JENZDEETRIKZILLA...FLATTEN FRANCE! GO TO PARIS! FLATTEN PARIS!"

They left out the Wolf I think......and that 30 lives thing rocked!!

dave

NES had such cooooooool games:

"Contra," "G.I. Joe," "Super Mario Bros.," "Rampage," "Paperboy," (haha!) "Jaws," "ET," "The Empire Strikes Back," (compare the AT-AT level in that with the one in "Shadows of the Empire"!), "Zelda" (the first, and the best) . . .

I could go on and on. Man! This is getting me thining about Nintendo again. I still miss. Even though I got my Genesis ("Flashback" rocks!) and N64 ("GoldenEye" rules!), I still miss my NES.

And you can forget the hysteria-inducing "Battletoads!?"

*dantoris stops typing and cries his eyes out*

Logically, I would want to destroy New York, not because I don't love it here, but because I would just, somehow, want to see it reduced to shambles. I've written and drawn stories like this before, since earliest childhood: I'd start out at the northeastern corner of the island of Manhattan and work my way south. There are interesting things to destroy in the other boroughs, as well; I'd have to map it out very specifically. (Of course, having become a blood-maddened insane enormous monster, I'd probably wind up saying "the hell with the map." It's not EASY being a beast! I'd probably even forget to start out at Yankee Stadium -- I just mentioned starting out at the northeastern corner, but the Stadium is just that much more than a stone's throw away across the river, so I ought to start there, now that I think of it. I'd have to have become sufficiently crazed that I'd actually be WILLING to wade through the revolting Harlem River, though. Maybe I could jump over it, or fly. No one specified what my powers would be. I think I'll fly. It will surprise everyone that I can do that too. My secret eye-ray weapon will not appear until later. If convenient, I might also be wise to grow a tail, but not right away.)

Coney Island is a must to visit -- it's about as far away as you can GET from my starting point, but I doubt I'll have been brought down by then (I'll be BIG!), so if the season is right, I can ... well, that's a scene from my upcoming (at least half-finished) script BLACK WINGS, you'll just have to sit and WAIT for that one. (awright, I'll tell ya, I'll be picking people off the Wonder Wheel like grapes from the vine. At that point in the script, I'll have competition, too.)

Ever seen the prehistoric deer skeleton at the Museum of Natural History? Big, terrifying horns; murderous-looking teeth. I just had to write a story about that one becoming reanimated and getting loose. It's tough being trapped in this head of mine, sometimes. (actually, EVERYTHING dead got reanimated in that story, but that in ITSELF is another story)

My other choice of city to destroy would be one I'd want to level simply as a matter of principle: Bangkok, Thailand. Also, I think no monster has ever wrecked the place; and it has quite a few places that would be interesting to see topple into rubble. Perhaps at one point one of the giant stone "soldiers" at Angkor Wat might come to life and they'd fight.

I also loathe the cities of Osaka, Japan (which has been crushed any number of times), and Accra, Ghana (West Africa) (which has never been smashed because nobody much cares about it, and also has no landmarks. I'd probably mash it just on principle, though, as with Bangkok above.)

I'm not sure Taipei has ever been crushed into the ground, although I've heard people say it's the worst city in Asia. (It cannot be worse than Bangkok.) I rather like Hong Kong -- it's like a giant version of Chinatown as seen in New York or San Francisco -- but it would be fun to step all over that one too. (It's been done. I refer you to the underrated MIGHTY PEKING MAN and the overrated -- by Roger Ebert -- INFRAMAN.)

And Chris, about France... well, invading any part of France would necessarily involve my actually visiting and being in France. Sure, I'd be there to destroy it, but still.... No thanks.

The big city lights just don't hold much attraction for me. I'd go historical. But... Athens -- is way too boring. Constantinople (I'm not calling it Istanbul) -- I'd love to bestride the Bosporus like a Colossus, but there hasn't been anything left to sack since the Crusades. Jerusalem -- my evil presence would undoubtedly bring together Christians, Jews and Muslims, once bitter enemies, now big happy friends, all trying to kill me. Who wants that?

So what's left? Just my "#1 Best City to Stomp", Italy's gem, Rome! Ooh, how I'd enjoy strolling down the Appian Way, kicking cute little Italian sportscars. Then I'd take a little walk downtown, roundhousing every building in site. The Colloseum would break like a Lego pirate's fortress set. The Pantheon would lie in ruins. I would use my "special powers" to ensure that the famous Baths would never again be used or approached to within 2 miles. All Seven Hills would become rubbage dumps. Arrivederce, Saint Peter's! The Pope would have to flee the Vatican, leaving millions of Catholics stunned and unable to make choices about birth control. This, Robilicus, is true chaos! Imagine the devastating block party we could have! Let's go -- you bring the brandy, and I'll start rounding up some babes. I hear those Italian women sunbathe nude... JENZDEETRIKZILLA like!

Score of choice: Something Italian and very cheesy. How about 'The Talented Mr. Ripley'?

[This message has been edited by Jens Dietrich (edited 02 July 2000).]

Funny, if you read one of the older GODZILLA scripts that Hollywood was paying insane amounts of money for (this is before the Evil Twins got ahold of it), you'd realize there WAS a big role for Demi Moore! I am just as happy we weren't forced to see it, though ... (although I kind of thought that it would be interesting to cast Sissy Spacek in the role of the older woman, since she is proud of the fact that the original GODZILLA is the first movie she ever saw, and since she is a great actress, she might have brought some real dimension to the piece ... but NOT if she were forced to play the mother of Demi Moore. I wouldn't have cast the daughter role older than Alicia Silverstone, myself.)

Jens (may I call you Jens? you may call me Hank), have you seen any of the Japanese DAI MAJIN movies? (He's the big stone god who comes to life and crushes the ancient pagodas.) Or the most recent, wonderful GAMERA pictures? (The big turtle who crushes and/or burns everything. Bring the kids! Actually, I would.)

Anyways, before destroying anything big monsters like us should at least take some safety precautions. First we have to establish a few ground rules about safety (since the life span of a gigantic monster is usually about a week to a month according to the best sources we have, or they get sent off to volcanos to live in...).

1. The country of the city must not be big enough not to kill me, but it must be small enough not to be cared about.

2. The area of the city must be hot and wet. If I were a huge monster, I would be a reptilian and it would be the most comfortable for me. I mean if I choose London or Paris, Id last half a season, on account of the cold. The area also has to be at or below sea level (being twice size of the statue of liberty would take its toll on my lungs).

3. Finally the country of the city MUST have nukes and nuclear power plants. Being a nuclear mutant, radiation would be like the mint on a pillow. It would enable me to more often use my "ability" to shoot electrical death from some netherorifice of my body. That'd be cool ... Huh Huh Huh.....

NP: The Patriot (by the guy who scored that other movie last year)

I think I misspoke above, calling the Chicago Sears Tower the world's biggest building ... it's actually that mammoth pair of towers in Kuala Lumpur, now, isn't it? A rather dull and affectless city except for those two structures (they hadn't been constructed at the time of my one visit.) But you could start out at the Batu Caves, one of the most spectacular natural formations I've ever seen, and tumble down the hill through all the puny tanks, rappelling along on the wires that control the uphill train (with a pause to break one open and scoop out the passengers, we will need our protein to give us energy for further destruction; there are also lots of trees around here which will serve as a decent, fibrous side dish), then roar into Kuala Lumpur. (It would take a LONG time to wreck those towers, unless one were ABSURDLY huge ... again, one might want a collaborator of some kind, an eternal enemy of one sort or another.)

Singapore isn't that far to the south, and it's one of the most beautiful cities I've ever seen -- like a metropolis carved out of a rain forest, the contrast between the massive trees and the enormous buildings fascinated me -- hence an absolute pleasure to wreck. I'll start at the Ming Court Hotel and work my way down the main avenue, taking especial care to pick up all those obnoxious street salesmen who jump out at you from corners hawking their "copy watches." I'll break them all in half and suck out their spines.

Battle plan for Cairo: I crawl out of the ocean in Morrocco. Crossing the Atlas mountains, I dive into the deep sand of the Sahara and burrow toward Giza. Nearing the pyramids, I emerge and start for Cheops' bed and breakfast from direct west. No one sees me coming! I roar, shake the Pyramids from their foundations, kick over the Sphinx and wade across the Nile to Cairo. Here's the cool part -- I wade beneath the surface, carrying the Pyramids over my head! Those Egyptians won't know what's happening -- they'll be too busy wondering if they should start worshipping Ra again -- and that's when I strike. Three giant stone Pyramids, once representing the grandeur of ancient Egypt, flatten downtown Cairo. Now they are a monument to how much I kick ass.

Bonus: we can fly in Hans Zimmer and impale him with the pyramid's pointy end (although I realize that the top stones are many times too large to "impale" him). It will be a symbolic victory.

Still owe them big time for being spit on & generally treated like trash. A sometimes lovely country whose cultural superiority does NOT extend to deodorant.....

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Originally posted by Thor:
Bretten, Germany.

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Great choice. What score would you listen to while destroying it? Something by Danny Elfman, perhaps?

Keep it up.

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Originally posted by Bulldog:

Oh, and Jens, I love reading how you haven't posted much alongside of all of your posts in this thread alone.

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Thanks Bulldog. I also really LOVED your reply to the Patriot thread. A well thought analysis which once again shows that Goldsmith is the better film composer, and Williams better for the concert hall (which is also one of the reasons for his popularity).

Keep up the great posts!

ps. What city would YOU want to destroy?

(THE VAST GERBIL is not to be confused with the Mexican picture THE VAST CROCODILE, which, ironically, is about mummies.)

Mwuahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!! I am invicible!! Hahahahaha!!

I'd also find Jake Lloyd and stomp him flat just for being the little brat that he is (have you read the stories from the set of his latest film? Man, what a little pain-in-the-ass that kid is!) and squish the new Anakin between my fingers. I'd let Ewan MacGregor and Liam Neeson (assuming he returns for ghostly Obi-Wan-like cameo) walk, as they are two really good actors. I'd probably let Natalie Portman walk, too, even though I don't think to highly of her. (And she sure as heck wouldn't replace my Sandra Bullock, who I'd have in my hand every second of this adventure, a la Fay Wray!)

NP: Sounds Exciting - "JAG: High Flying" *****/***** (Broughton promo. Damn! This guy needs some really great films to score! His Narrow Margin and The Presidio tracks on this CD have been leaving be breathless! Can this guy right some killer action pieces or WHAT!?)