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Which Composer Would You Eat?Archive of old forum. No more postings.
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Topic: Which Composer Would You Eat?
Kris Koon
OscarŽ Winner
OK, say you've been involved in a horrible plane crash on some desolate, remote mountain range. You and your companions are out of food and starving and the only source of food to keep you nourished are the freshly deceased bodies of some of the former passengers. So, if you could have your pick of any film composer to chomp down on, which one would it be? Don't just pick one you don't like and wouldn't want to see compose again (they are already dead and wouldn't compose again anyway).NOTE: I neither endorse nor condone eating human flesh. This is just a little experiment born out of my own morbid curiosity.
NE: a little chocolate doughnut
posted 05-12-2000 12:36 PM PT (US) SBD
OscarŽ Winner
Kris, no offense, but to anyone else who replies to this thread, much less conceives of a similar thread: THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU TAKE A DEEP BREATH OVER AN OPEN CAN OF PAINT!
posted 05-12-2000 01:34 PM PT (US) Graham Watt
OscarŽ Winner
Rachel Portman looks quite tasty in some photos...
posted 05-12-2000 01:41 PM PT (US) Rang
OscarŽ Winner
"Don't just pick one you don't like and wouldn't want to see compose again (they are already dead and wouldn't compose again anyway)."I disagree. What about decomposing?
I'm sorry, that was in bad taste.
Seriously, my mouth remains closed on this one.
posted 05-12-2000 02:24 PM PT (US) Chris Kinsinger
OscarŽ Winner
Back in 1994, my wife & I embarked upon a 30-day fast. It was a remarkable experience that I would gladly repeat in such an instance as you have cited, Mr. Koon.The human body can safely go without food for over 40 days. I find that far preferable to consuming human flesh.
Please stay away from paint.
posted 05-12-2000 02:29 PM PT (US) Kris Koon
OscarŽ Winner
Come on, it was a JOKE! Notice I didn't list who I would choose to eat. I, of course, wouldn't want any of our dear composers to be consumed in such a way. I don't think I could eat anyone of them, either. It seemed kind of funny in a really dark sort of way late last night when I came with the idea for this post. Looking now at the title of this post amidst all the other (mostly Gladiator-related) posts, I see now how bad and tasteless it looks, so I apologize to anyone I may have offended.I do stay away from paint. The spring quarter is ending and summer is approaching and I have exams coming up and my stupid suitemate (guy in the next room over) keeps blasting his stupid idiot music like he has for the past 2 years and I think all this may be haveing a (hopefully temporary) effect on my mind. But I'm really not a psycho cannibal, really!
We all go a little mad (hungry), sometimes.
posted 05-12-2000 03:18 PM PT (US) JJH
OscarŽ Winner
okay Kris, lets' explore further:What kind of music does that suitemate play?
Do you do anything about this? If so, what do you do about it?
Is there lead in the paint of your suite?
Is there lead in your water?
Do you know any pathologists?
What is your favorite movie/ score?You say you're not a psycho cannibal. Your post might make some of us think otherwise. Defend yourself!
BTW -- I AM a psycho cannibal. just read my profile!
posted 05-12-2000 04:09 PM PT (US) Kris Koon
OscarŽ Winner
What kind of music does that suitemate play?-Stupid senseless noise produced by the band Phish. If you've never heard of them, consider yourself lucky. He also listens to rhe Grateful Dead and other unintellignet noisemakers that shouldn't be allowed to exist.
Do you do anything about this? If so, what do you do about it?
-No, maybe I should, bur I hate talking to people in person.
Is there lead in the paint of your suite?
-not that I know of
Is there lead in your water?
-not that I know of but it smells kind of bad
Do you know any pathologists?
-nope
What is your favorite movie/ score?
-I don't like to pick favorites
You say you're not a psycho cannibal. Your post might make some of us think otherwise. Defend yourself!
-Uhm, well, they did it in Alive, didn't they (haven't seen it)? That was based on a true story wasn't it? Those people weren't psycho cannibals, were they?
BTW -- I AM a psycho cannibal
-Yes, I see Eric Serra listed as one of you favorite composers/artists.
Well, off to eat some Mexican (the food, not the people)posted 05-12-2000 04:26 PM PT (US) Chris Kinsinger
OscarŽ Winner
OK, alright.
I'd eat a couple of Thomas Newman steaks (or chops), because he's young and the meat would taste better than say, John Williams (too old and stringy). But only if I can roast it over an open fire until it's really well-done (I usually prefer rare meat, but I've never had a human-steak), and believe me I'm never going on an airline without packing Teriyaki Sauce and Chicago Steak Seasonings.
And mushrooms. Gotta have 'em.
posted 05-12-2000 06:26 PM PT (US) JJH
OscarŽ Winner
I really ought to delete that Eric Serra reference in my profile. just a joke, as is my whole profile (or was it?)NP -- Girl, Interrupted, Mychael Danna
posted 05-12-2000 08:45 PM PT (US) Chris Kinsinger
OscarŽ Winner
My daughter's babysitter had a small role in Girl, Interrupted.The film was shot two blocks from my home.
I haven't seen it yet.
HEY!
Thomas Newman chops taste REALLY GOOD!
I marinated them in Teriyaki Sauce for an hour, and sprinkled them with Chicago Seasoning.
I sauteed the mushrooms in Vermouth and butter.
THIS IS A GREAT MEAL!posted 05-12-2000 09:17 PM PT (US) H Rocco
OscarŽ Winner
Just logged on, and I can't stay long, but I ROARED at the mere topic of this thread. My kind of humor, I guess ...I figure Joel Goldsmith would feed a nice big party ... based on photos, he'd serve upwards of twenty people. By his father's own account, he's also a very sweet fellow, so this might in turn infuse his yieldable flesh. Although I remember reading something, quite recently, to the effect that the average human only has 33 pounds of edibles.
I swear I do not know how that conclusion was reached. And I swear I had nothing to do with it. And I swear I have never been to the Andes. And I swear I am not James Newton Howard, and you ALL know WHY he was chosen to score ALIVE ...
posted 05-12-2000 10:28 PM PT (US) Chris Kinsinger
OscarŽ Winner
Rocco, you don't do any cooking, do you?I mean REAL meal preparation.
You just don't do that...do you?
Joel Goldsmith is probably 85% FAT!
Fat provides flavor to any cut of beef or pork, BUT...ya' gotta have MORE MEAT THAN FAT TO HAVE A MEAL!
Any steak or chop cut from Joel would be reduced to a puddle of grease on the barbecue grill...WAY TOO MUCH FAT!
If we're talking about making a meal out of human beings, it is vital that we choose those humans as carefully as we choose the beef at the butcher shop!
For example...Rocco...you are still rather young...a bit small but well-built. I imagine that your slaughtered, headless carcass would yield probably 35 to 40 pounds of steaks, chops, soup bones, butt roasts, liver (well-marinated, I suppose), and sausage.
Now YOU would feed twenty people quite well for about ten days. Tasty, too I imagine. Not too much fat. Just enough.
If you're ever in an airline accident, pray that you are spared, and that no chefs are on the plane.
posted 05-12-2000 11:03 PM PT (US) Timmer
OscarŽ Winner
I think I'd prefer a Boxer to a composer?!Man-Mountain Michael Grant was tenderised a treat after his pounding at the hands of Lennox Lewis!
All that Protein with low fat content!...mmmmmm!
posted 05-13-2000 04:26 AM PT (US) Timmer
OscarŽ Winner
I think I'd prefer a Boxer to a composer?!Man-Mountain Michael Grant was tenderised a treat after his pounding at the hands of Lennox Lewis!
All that Protein with low fat content!...mmmmmm!
posted 05-13-2000 04:28 AM PT (US) H Rocco
OscarŽ Winner
Well, Christopher, I don't remember how much fat I might have had on me during our brief meeting at Carnegie -- I can attest there's less now -- but depending on which parts the populace would prefer, I think the 33 yieldable pounds is possibly the correct figure. I hadn't thought about the soup-bones angle, though. So much of our respective weight is bones ...You don't take into account that we NEED to eat fat, that the whole concept of nonfat diet is ridiculous, that Joel Goldsmith would easily feed that number I mentioned as simply as a ham would. Although, again, I hadn't included the soup-bone factor.
(There goes my chances of ever talking to Joel Goldsmith.)
NP: nothing, but it should be either ALIVE or RAVENOUS (even the titles are wonderful bookends!)
posted 05-13-2000 12:41 PM PT (US) Marian Schedenig
OscarŽ Winner
Composers on the menu?Why not make soufflé out of all the composers on the plane?
posted 05-13-2000 01:24 PM PT (US) SBD
OscarŽ Winner
So there's nothing I can do to stop people from replying to this thread.NP - Predator (on TV - just about going off)
posted 05-13-2000 04:42 PM PT (US) Chris Kinsinger
OscarŽ Winner
"You don't take into account that we NEED to eat fat"Of course I do, Roc.
But Joel has way TOO MUCH fat in proportion to muscle, at least in the photos I've seen...
All I'm saying is that if we slaughtered him and barbecued the meat, we'd have a lot less actual MEAT and a lot of excess fat that we couldn't eat (don't ya' just LOVE this topic?). There's no way he'd feed twenty people. Let's just say the servings would be small.Too much fat.
posted 05-13-2000 04:49 PM PT (US) H Rocco
OscarŽ Winner
Well then, that brings us back to the original how-much-yieldable-meat figure that I already so kindly supplied. Sorry SBD, but nobody's making you read this.NP: ALIVE
posted 05-13-2000 05:39 PM PT (US) Timmer
OscarŽ Winner
er...How You gonna cook him?
Like on a Spit maybe?!Bags I don't do the skewering!
posted 05-13-2000 06:53 PM PT (US) Chris Kinsinger
OscarŽ Winner
OK, Timmer, so let's say that you, Rocco & I are all stranded together with several dead film composers (conveniently frozen, of course). My choice is one of the younger ones, since young meat is apt to be more tender and flavorful.
After you & Rocco do the slaughtering (I can't do EVERYTHING, you know!), I would roast the meat over an open flame.
I never would have thought of this before, but since this topic has arisen, I would never travel anywhere by air without an ample supply of Teriyaki Sauce and Chicago Steak Seasonings. The meat would be delicious. I'm a pretty good cook.
posted 05-13-2000 07:09 PM PT (US) Timmer
OscarŽ Winner
Don't know what those seasoning are Chris?,But they sure sound Good!I'm salivating already,
SO!, when does the Banquet begin?
NP : should be Eaters of the Dead from 13th Warrior!
Orion and Pleiades - Toru Takemitsuposted 05-13-2000 07:22 PM PT (US) JJH
OscarŽ Winner
I'm wondering if the theory about cannibalism posited in Ravenous might be applicable in some sort of way.For example, if Aaron Collins were to eat a stew with Eye of Newton Howard, flavored with a smidgen of Goldsmith ponytail,
would he become a super-composer, somehow able to consistently deflect negative critical commentary and at the same time slay the evil Horner Dragon, with one original theme?
"He was licking Me!"posted 05-13-2000 07:36 PM PT (US) Chris Kinsinger
OscarŽ Winner
Timmer, you can buy Chicago Steak Seasonings at www.bjsribs.com. They are absolutely the most delicious seasonings for ANY meat; beef, pork or chicken! I use the stuff all the time at home, and everybody LOVES the flavor! Go to their Online Store. Tell 'em I sent ya'! (Seriously - I work for BJs).
I'm sure you can find Teriyaki Sauce anywhere. It's very common.[This message has been edited by Chris Kinsinger (edited 13 May 2000).]
[This message has been edited by Chris Kinsinger (edited 13 May 2000).]
posted 05-13-2000 07:59 PM PT (US) Lou Goldberg
OscarŽ Winner
Riz Ortolani--He should have known scoring Cannibal Holocaust would come back to haunt him...Malcolm Arnold--Suddenly, it's Last Summer...
Goblin--should be gobblin' them after their work on Dawn of the Dead....
Horner--Where's the beef?
Goldsmith--Pass the tenderizer...
NP: The Omega Man (Ron Grainer)
posted 05-13-2000 09:01 PM PT (US) Nicolai P. Zwar
OscarŽ Winner
Ugh... I think with threads like this one you guys don't have to wonder all that much if no film composers are actually posting here.
Not too many film composers wish to be judged by their quality as a possible nourishment after a plane crash or looked upon as a convenient TV snack in lack of potato chips. Most of them feel that they already get devoured often enough by critics... and now their fans, too!
posted 05-14-2000 12:09 PM PT (US) Marian Schedenig
OscarŽ Winner
quote:
Originally posted by Nicolai P. Zwar:
Not too many film composers wish to be judged by their quality as a possible nourishment after a plane crash or looked upon as a convenient TV snack in lack of potato chips.Yummy! Watching Star Trek while eating tasty Goldsmith chips.
NP: Donnie Brasco (Patrick Doyle)
posted 05-14-2000 04:04 PM PT (US) Bulldog
OscarŽ Winner
I know I'd just let somebody else eat Joel Goldsmith, because then all I could do is say to Goldsmith, Sr.: "Don't get mad at me, that guy's the one that ate your son."
posted 05-16-2000 05:32 AM PT (US) Old Infopop Software by UBB