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Topic: "Fact or Fiction?"/UNPLUGGED II
Howard L
Oscar® Winner
(The subject label in " " refers to a series founded by frequenters of the currently-defunct "other" messageboard. Anyone was/is invited to create a short story, episode, play, etc. that has to do with film music, composers, film music fans, etc. whether in a direct or ancillary mode. "UNPLUGGED" means what you see in the initial post is how it immediately came out i.e. rough draft and I's MEANS rough draft. From there anyone is free to change or add a line or lines or whatever--as long it's in good clean fun & in the spirit of things. The "II" refers to the fact that this is a continuation of a previous entry--which furthermore was a sequel to a rather lengthy "cyberplay" that centered around a gang of film music fans who finally met in-person while jointly making a pilgrimmage to the home of a most-respected "one of their own" who had died suddenly.The sequel takes place sometime in the future and, concidentally, the day after a concert in Detroit.
Fact or fiction? You decide.)
HOWARD (pointing at Shaun): Who's him?CHRIS: Oh yeah. Rutherford. Fred Rutherford.
HOWARD: Jane--er, Joan would have known that without any help.
WEDGE: How about 3rd Rock, they live in Rutherford!
HOWARD: Extra credit! Touche', Wedge.
H ROCCO: That's also a town in New Jersey.
HOWARD: YES! Giants Stadium's in East Rutherford, matter of fact. Only dry town left in the whole state, last I heard. And You-Know-Who's buried under the 48-yard line!
CHRIS (a la Danny DeVito): Hoffa?! You want ME to walk out on Jimmy Hoffa?!
HOWARD: He WAS da man!
CHRIS: Contacts. You ain't nothing without contacts.
(As Howard has turned the volume up to Bert Kaempfert's "Danke Schoen", the European recording, Rocco taps Chris, and--)
H ROCCO (voice lowered so no one else can hear): I thought you didn't like this idea of going up there.
CHRIS: I still don't, but he said he was going whether I came or we came or not. Figured I might as well do it then.
H ROCCO: I'm with you but I'm also with him. I mean sure, nobody wants to re-open old wounds or anything.
CHRIS: You should know.
H ROCCO: Yeah. But sometimes you just gotta say what the--
CHRIS (interrupting): I know.
...............WE NOW RESUME.................
H ROCCO (after sighing): Oh, maybe you're right. You know--I don't want to see this weekend end.CHRIS: Hmm?
H ROCCO: Nothing.
CHRIS: Come on.
H ROCCO: I mean this is a remarkable setup. Look at them (pointing to the rest). Look at us. Do you know what the first thing I thought after my father died? I gotta go to the messageboard. The freakin' messageboard. Sheesh.
CHRIS: You sound like him (jerking his head in Howard's direction) and his rush to fly up here.
H ROCCO: And Valere.
CHRIS: Huh?
H ROCCO: That 'Valere' person wrote a post about losing an Internet friend. I'm pretty sure...
CHRIS (after shaking his head): Well, this is a whole new one for me. And I'm still nervous.
(Shift to the front--)
SHAUN: He is such an idiot, I swear!
WEDGE: So how old do you think he is?
HOWARD: Enough of the age stuff already! Who cares?
SHAUN: Hee-hee-hee, we all do--including you!
HOWARD: Why I oughta...
WEDGE: I'm the baby here.
SHAUN: No, he is.
HOWARD: Ooooh, you are flirting with death.
SHAUN: Nyuk-nyuk-nyuk.
WEDGE: Soit'nly!
HOWARD: Calling Dr. Howard, Dr. Fine, Dr. Howard!
(They crack up; shift back--mercifully)
H ROCCO: Well, not me anymore. I think it's neat.
CHRIS: I wish I felt that way. (He chuckles to himself after the accidental 1776-ism)
H ROCCO (somewhat defiantly): All's I know is that wouldn't you think it was neat if suddenly your wife dropped dead and you're feeling rotten and miserable and out of nowhere this guy shows up at the funeral and shakes your hand and introduces himself as one of us?
CHRIS: I think I'd be too stunned to speak.
(Shift forward--)
HOWARD: I can't believe you work in Okemos and your father teaches in Williamston. This is rich. Rich!
WEDGE: I know. Isn't that weird?SHAUN: You guys have history or something?
HOWARD: Okemos. What is that, some Indian word for diarrhea?
WEDGE (after laughing): I never heard that before.
SHAUN: Okay. So you've lived here, too.
HOWARD: No, it's just that there's ancient family history laying around. Actually, not THAT ancient. The original family plot's somewhere in Williamston--Rawley, Rowley, Crowley Road or whatever.
WEDGE: I may know where.
HOWARD: I'm driving there tomorrow. And there's a certain street in Okemos...as a matter of fact, I believe it's spitting distance from the Okemos Library.
SHAUN (to Wedge): Where YOU work? This is getting weirder by the minute.
HOWARD: Tell me about it.
(Shift back--)
H ROCCO: Yeah, but it would be nice. And different. Would've been nice if...aah, who cares.
CHRIS: Do you have any idea how tough this could be on the folks? A lady loses her husband and then her son just like that and not even a year later a bunch of strangers show up and introduce themselves as his friends. We are playing with danger.
H ROCCO: You've spoken with Howard about that. What does he say?
CHRIS: Not much. I think he thinks he's playing out a real-life Twilight Zone episode.
H ROCCO: You gotta be kidding.
CHRIS: Wish I were.
H ROCCO (noticing the three ninnies up front enjoying themselves): Twilight Zone. And I'm the one who wishes this weekend wouldn't end. Heh-heh, 's more like Groundhog Day.
CHRIS (grabbing his head): Not another one.
H ROCCO: And we've done this before.
CHRIS (stops ****ing, gives Rocco a funny look): What did you say?
H ROCCO: Nothing.
CHRIS: No! Twilight Zone, Groundhog Day--you don't suppose he's done this sort of thing--
H ROCCO (with a HUGE emerging grin): Before?
CHRIS (ruminates, then nods): He never did respond when Jim Cleveland accused him of holding back. Hey, Bialystock. MR. JEFFERSON!
(The laughter up-front subsides)
HOWARD (a la Maynard G. Krebs): YOU RANG?!
CHRIS: I have a question.
HOWARD (reciting, in a booming basso): A QUESTION! Since before your sun burned hot in space and before your race was born--
CHRIS: None of that now, this is serious!
H ROCCO (excitedly): No, no--I finally know one. That's from Star Trek, "City on the Edge of Forever", music by Fred Steiner!
HOWARD: H Rocco, this is YOUR life. Congratulations!
SHAUN: We're back in business!
WEDGE: Is this what I'm going to be like in 10 years?
HOWARD: In Dickinson's case, try 40!
CHRIS (a la Dr. McCoy): Murderers! Assassins! --Oh, damn you Jefferson! I want to know something.
HOWARD: We were just saying wasn't that a marvelous reception hosted by 'Senator' Hatfield and his mistress last evening?!
(At this remark, soda instantly comes flying out of Shaun's mouth, damn near slogging both Wedge & Howard; he had been sipping a can of Diet Pepsi)
WEDGE: Hey!
CHRIS: That was his WIFE you idiot!
HOWARD (with fake sarcasm): Forgive me, but who am I to tread on Contemporary 'Moral' Sensibilities!
SHAUN (after mopping up--with his tee-shirt): Ah yes, the CMS syndrome!
H ROCCO (needling Chris): You walked right into that one, hah-hah.
HOWARD: Really? Who bought the bridge from the purveyor of CMS, 'Rocco'!
CHRIS (seizing the opportunity): Rocco's bridge went falling down, falling down, falling down, Rocco's bridge went falling down--
HOWARD: --So will Scofield's!
(Chris, Howard, Shaun--and now, horror of horrors--WEDGE exchange high-fives)
H ROCCO: OK, okay. (He nudges Chris) Ask him.
CHRIS: Howard, have you ever done this before?
HOWARD (returning the query): What?
CHRIS: You know, this trip.
HOWARD: To Canada?
CHRIS: No. I'm not sure how to ask this, but--
H ROCCO (impetuously): Guy. McKone. Have you done something like this before?
(Silence; silence throughout the car; they have reached the border, it will not be a long trip through Ontario, "soit'nly" for a Saturday afternoon in June; suddenly an enigmatic smile appears...the camera swings forward and we see the road through the windshield, highway stripes and mile markers flying by...
...TO BE CONTINUED (?)
[This message has been edited by Howard L (edited 15 May 2000).]
posted 04-29-2000 11:52 AM PT (US) joan hue
Oscar® Winner
"TO BE CONTINUED."Howard, don't spend too much time out in that wonderful Florida sun working on your tan and forget about, "the REST of the story." Personally, I never ascribed to the saying, "Patience is a virture." Sigh! I guess I better learn.
posted 04-29-2000 01:25 PM PT (US) H Rocco
Oscar® Winner
Heh, on the road again ...I must say, my first line made me laugh out loud. Mr. Know-It-All strikes again.
Howard, maybe I don't want to know this but ... where's Jerry? In the trunk?
posted 04-29-2000 08:25 PM PT (US) Chris Kinsinger
Oscar® Winner
HE'S DONE IT BEFORE!
HE'S DONE IT BEFORE!AAARRRRRGGGHHHHHHHH!
...the van was found sitting beside the road, empty, and the four bodies were buried in shallow graves nearby...
posted 04-29-2000 08:57 PM PT (US) Lou Goldberg
Oscar® Winner
I'm beginning to see that not going to Detroit was a good idea....NP: Without Apparent Motive (Ennio Morricone)
posted 04-29-2000 11:45 PM PT (US) Timmer
Oscar® Winner
Here's The Deal HL ol'pal,
Stick Me in your script.....Or else!!yours sincerely
BEN NEVIS BREATH
NP : A re-run of Lewis stiffing Grant in Round 2 from last nights Boxing!
posted 04-30-2000 06:21 PM PT (US) Chris Kinsinger
Oscar® Winner
HE'S OUR HITLER!!!-Bloom
posted 04-30-2000 09:39 PM PT (US) Howard L
Oscar® Winner
"...the van was found sitting beside the road, empty, and the four bodies were buried in shallow graves nearby..."NOW look who's turning this into a Twilight Zone episode.
"...the van was found sitting beside the road, empty, and the four bodies were buried in shallow graves nearby..."
Let's say there's only one body. Guess whose, MR. DICKINSON.
[This message has been edited by Howard L (edited 01 May 2000).]
posted 05-01-2000 10:24 AM PT (US) Howard L
Oscar® Winner
Just made a few cosmetic changes, nothing special. I also want to belatedly thank all the 'fictional characters' in these little plays and the earlier one for being such good sports. You take a risk when you put words that may not necessarily fit in the mouths of their real-life counterparts. Somewhere someone said "we get all we need to know from our writings" but there nevertheless remains the indefinable urge to go beyond the printed page and connect further. You can hide from it, you can deny it but it's there.Therefore, let us leave the imitative page. Onward to Detroit...and Canada.
posted 05-05-2000 03:42 PM PT (US) Chris Kinsinger
Oscar® Winner
Mr. Howard L, shall I phone 20/20, Dateline NBC, or 60 Minutes to accompany you on your Road Trip?One of 'em will bite.
posted 05-05-2000 08:28 PM PT (US) Howard L
Oscar® Winner
Actually, I used to live a few blocks from Bill Geist, who did all those "On the Road" things with Charles Kuralt. Still catch him on Dan Rather's news once in a while. Used to hate it when I reffed little Willy's basketball games and he'd be screaming like a red-headed maroon from the stands.Mr. Dickinson, I thought for sure you'd try and come back with "It just so happens the word is un-definable, not in-definable..."
posted 05-06-2000 10:17 AM PT (US) Old Infopop Software by UBB